Gaziantep Part 1: Landing

In between thoughts of pity over my exhaustive journey and excitement in planning a field trip, we start our descent into Gaziantep, Turkey. Turkish Airlines is all about their in-flight map. They have it on about 23 different 3D perspectives as the plane flies across the sky, far more than any other in-flight map I have ever seen. As we grow closer, the regional map starts to populate with interesting cities: Baghdad, Bahrain. But closer to Gaziantep, nothing. Is it a sleight of hand by Turkish to omit the dark places nearby? Then about 15 minutes out, Aleppo shows up on the map and indeed quite close to Antep (about 90km to be exact). Yegaads. Clearly the crew is thinking the same thing, because in the next second, the proud map display disappears, prematurely and well before landing.

Too late. My vigorous imagination of a place I’ve never been to, in a provocative location on the edge of a war zone, combined with my ever-present landing anxiety, kicks into gear and begins to fuel a number of speculations. I start praying that ack acks or RPGs will not be spotted suddenly hurdling toward us in the crystal clear night sky. Seriously. Seriously.

What I will find here in Gaziantep is most likely a people torn apart by conflict, but determined to improve their lives and somehow find peace. I will find that my fears, while ever present and at times justified and/or histrionic, will be eclipsed by other priorities, such as capturing the right picture of the people here to carry back home with me. It reminds me of Congo and of course of northern Uganda. These are places dear to me that have terrified me at times for both real and imagined reasons, but also places where the plight of those on the frontlines dominates my memory and more importantly my efforts to articulate requests for action to the powers-that-be. Here I already know that the message will be to support women and girls and men and boys to settle Syria and bring peace at last.

Broad strokes at this stage - the rest to be shortly filled in.

All in for All Inclusive

As literal intrepid globetrotters, Hayden and I have some opinions about travel things. We like to explore local cultures, we don't mind a little roughing it if we have to. Of course, we also like beautiful and luxury places too, as our near residence at the Serena attested.

So when I was invited to attend the worldwide body of elections meeting in the Dominican Republic and got the all clear to bring the family, I said yes. It was to be held in an all inclusive resort in Punta Cana, the Paradisus Palma Real Golf and Spa Resort to be exact. The type of place we would normally shun and from the photos, it looked nice but in that Caribbean meets Disneyland kinda way.

When we arrived, however, our jaws dropped. The photos did not do the place justice. It was magnificent. The scale of the place is hard to describe. The main pool was several football fields, but so tasteful. Meandering sandstone and marble work, with little bridges, roman columns and beautiful shots of the sea everywhere. While I was off AWEB-Ing Hayden discovered the kid zone, over in the "exclusivo" section of the resort, with more meandering pools of marble, there with elephant fountains and slides.

After my work day I went to join them and panicked. "Where's Austin?!" "He's napping," Hayden replied from the stretch of his lounge chair, drink in hand. But the stroller was empty and my baby was nowhere to be seen. "Where?!," I cried and Hayden looked characteristically unperturbed. He slowly got up and sauntered into the kid zone, which was a giant indoor day care. There were about 20 kids spread across all of the rooms and as we approached the desk I saw Austin on the baby monitor, sound asleep. They had a nap room lined with cribs and pack n plays and Austin was passed out cold. Although I couldn't fully relax I did get used to this daily ritual. He would play and eat lunch there, and then Hayden would put him down and swim or workout or both.

Food options were pretty good. There was the main buffet with pretty decent food - literally anything one could think of. They also had a bunch of a la carte dinner restaurants. We ate at the sushi, Italian and steak restaurants for dinner.

My colleagues seemed a little envious that I brought the family. Other than the first morning, when I ran into and then joined the president of my company for breakfast we did interact too much. I approached the table with Austin slung under my arm, praying he would not fling Cheerios at him. Austin was cool, but I about died when in sauntered Hayden in his wildest bathing suit and slid in next to my president who was in a suit and tie. Neither seemed to hear my deafening internal anxiety, so that's good I guess.

The room was gorgeous. We had a suite, with a lovely living room and kitchen where Austin slept in a crib. There were two bathrooms - one with a jacuzzi and one with a shower. All was tasteful mahogany and sandstone. Finally, I have to say the staff where so nice. I mean they were unbelievable. They were so gracious and really made it special.

Despite having to work most of the time, I managed a few dips in the pool and sea and some QT with the family. I wish every work trip was at a five star all inclusive Caribbean paradise!

Travail des Femmes

At the Marriott Port-au-Prince Haiti, I stood in front of a ballroom of people, with my interpreter (a stand in for one of Marge Simpson’s sisters). I discovered that when you have to speak through an interpreter you can’t be nervous, because there are too many things to think about: Is this the place to pause? Did she get that slight change from “they” to “she”? Should I stare at the audience while the interpreter gives my speech? Did she emphasis “winnable” the same way I did? Who does she think she is? This is my presentation! As I said, perhaps, a few too many places the mind can drift.

The audience was large and generally courteous. The topic of the day was the launch of the National Gender and Elections. I went through the different sections: legal framework, election management, civil society, political parties, violence against women and the media. I ended with this:

Finally, let me say that I was here four years ago and spent time in the displacement camps around Port-au-Prince with women who were working to end gender-based violence at the most basic, household level in tents and extremely difficult living conditions. These women amazed and inspired me, because against all odds, including the earthquake, displacement, and disease, they were committed to tackling the complex issue of GBV for the sake of equality and justice. I hope you can give me just one moment more to make a bit of a plea: the continued vigilance and support from those of you in this room is critical to the success of the National Gender and Elections Strategy. Continue to press policymakers working to implement the plan. Continue to press local civil society and their male allies and continue to cultivate and nurture public support for gender equality so that the women and men working at the community level know that their work is not in vain. On the contrary. The national, and even international spotlight, shines brightly in Haiti. You should feel proud to have created a beacon for all of Haiti and the world to embrace.

Marge’s sister helped me bring it home to her credit and people applauded with mild enthusiasm.

But after I spoke, members of the national election commission started taking questions from the audience and all hell broke loose. The theme was what it always is: women need more financial support to run credible campaigns. It turns out that Haiti has 140+ political parties and 64 candidates running for President (including a few women). More than a few of these candidates, as well as candidates for other offices were in the room. And they wanted public financing. Now.

In fairness, the election is less than a month away and there is apparently no sign of the money.

I came away thinking firstly: do not mess with Haitians, especially the women. But I also think we’ve got to do more by women candidates. Public finances do not an elected official make. It’s about the game of politics. It’s about the private sector. It’s about connections. Yet, we teach our women leaders in trainings to run a straight campaign, be good and fair to everyone. Etc. etc. This is politics and women need to play the game, no? I’m not saying train them to lie, steal and cheat. (At least I don’t think I am) But the handout strategy seems to me to waste time. Don’t lament, work the room!

I’m sure that if I stood and shared these sentiments right now, I’d be knocked on my ass in a nanosecond. So I’ll refrain…for now.

In a New York minute

Scott suggested the name "tourist with opinions" or TWO when I asked for some help describing my weekend. I went to the big apple instead of a girls weekend in Montreal, which I had originally planned with Kate. Since leaving New York in 2007 I really spend only fleeting moments dashing to one or two destinations in the city. I decided in my big solo trip that I would find ways to enjoy New York on my terms. I had two: I wanted to take advantage of the entertainment (world's best) and I wanted to relive some moments from my time here. 

For point 1, Kate suggested we play "broadway roulette," which of course is the latest cheap way to see a show. For $49 (a steal!) you choose 5 shows and in the day one with availability would be chosen for you. Perfect. We saw Matilda which truth be told was only ok - a little too kid focused but with great talent and good music. We had dinner at a Greek place which would have been good, but the service was terrible (it turns out the staff were more focused on their failed broadway aspirations than our dinner order.) We left the show halfway through, just because we could. It was a good night.

On my other term, I decided to meet Kate after spending a few hours on my own in the Village. Here I was able to meander through years, no decades of old haunts. First stop, Joe's pizza for some slices. A real NY pizza joint: standing room only, pictures of random celebs with the owner on the wall and good, classic pizza for cheap. After that I stopped to pick up canolis which may or may not make it home to Hayden. I walked along Bleeker street for a bit, which still had many of the tourist trap yet charming restaurants and bars. I stopped at a little boutique on Thompson st. that always has the cutest dresses. I purchased some cute shorts.

I walked through a Washington square parked filled with NYU students, a Hare Kristna festival (seriously) and passed a doppelgänger for Caril Kane's character on Kimmie Schmidt, except crazier and on a child's BMX. 

I made it to Astor place which was sadly unrecognizable with now a second skyscraper. I got to St. Marks, which is gentrified, but holding at least with some sort of balance between crappy smoke shops and sushi restaurants. As I approached Second avenue I saw a street festival, which is always the bane of residents: annoying, tacky stuff that you don't need that slows down foot traffic. Only sadly, because I am now a TWO, I confess I enjoyed some of the stalls. I waded through and got to my old block. As I was about to reach my building I passed a little toy shop that had always been there but of course I had no use for before. I bought Austin a ball that he will love for exactly 5 minutes.

After remembering in front of my old door, I walked through my old deli that is literally the best deli in a city of awesome delis. I walked toward 14th and stopped and got a pedicure (oh yes I did). I made a brief pit stop at trader joes to grab some wine and then headed to Brooklyn.

Upon disembarking in Williamsburg, I über-ed to Kate's kooky kooky neighborhood. It's so Polish that everyone on the streets is speaking Polish and all of the newspapers are in Polish.

On Sunday morning I woke up early and went to buy coffee and donuts from Moe's donut shop, started by a guy who left "the best donut shop in New York" to start his own place after he fell out with his partner. Classic New York.

We met Cora and Inti and their brood, discussed aging and children and had a very Brooklyn lunch at a beer garden: cheeseburgers and ironic curly fries, milkshakes and PAC man.

And then I hopped on the 2 train to penn station. 

Just what I needed!