Stranger in a Strange Land

The first day of work is a tour de force of emotions. For me it's a mix of 75% anxiety, 24% adrenaline fueled by anxiety and 1% hopefulness. 

This week I started a new job for the first time in almost five years. When I think that in the not too distant past I started a new job every 18 months or so, I am amazed. It is a lot to take on board. Yes, the learning curve is there but that didn't even really come into view amidst navigating a new commute, finding and accessing my office and the countless steps that come with on-boarding to a civil servant job.

The tales of those steps are myriad and mundane. Let's sum up by calling it the old "two steps forward two steps back" routine added to my penchant for mediocrely bad luck. To quote my contractor escort: "wow this is amazing. I've never seen it like this." Well, I have. Ending day one with my coveted badge felt like climbing Everest (this took longer, but perhaps with less physical exertion unless you count palpitations.) 

I will need several more trips to the IT department so have befriended Bernie and Rose there. Some sort of Herculean bureaucratic maneuvers to get my social security number corrected in the system are still needed.

My birthplace is listed in the system as "Palmyra Atoll." I will give you a moment to google it. I had to. A tiny uninhabited island near Hawaii and not really close to Pennsylvania, where I was actually born. When I hear that I immediately assume malfeasance. Amazingly, my colleagues did not. Everyone keeps a patient smirk on their faces and explains "it will take time..." and "it's like drinking from a fire hose."

The job I'm taking is a bit of a back seat compared to my last in the sense that I am taking a step back from direct implementation and into a role that selects implementers. This is a fantasy for many NGO people who spend so much time chasing donors.

I just hope they have internet access in Palmyra Atoll so that I can take on this new role!

Insomnia or keystone cops?

A disclaimer: I am a shite sleeper.

That said, I've had accomplices of late. Austin has been waking consistently at 3:30am to pee for the last two weeks. Without a diaper this has been a middle of the night laundry tour de force. (By the way, the mommy hack of 'just throw a towel over it' doesn't work.)

we've returned to nighttime diapers. No shame in it. Shame does not deter the desire for sleep! Wearing diapers at night has resulted in Austin still waking and asking to go to the bathroom, where a bleary-eyed yet frenzied diaper removal and toilet mounting process ensues.

Some nights Austin goes right back to sleep. Good for him. I don't. Other nights he needs me to hang with him for a while. Fun!

When it really becomes a blast is when the dog enters into the fray. Like tonight. Jeter work me up at 2:30am needing to go outside. (Yes, it was my fault for feeding him a porkchop bone at dinner. Usually he tolerates these just fine.)

I finish letting him out and return upstairs and note two things: I'm wide awake and it's 2:45, which means Austin will wake at 3:30. Fun! Again!

At 3:30 and a half, Austin wakes. This time he has peed in his diaper. Hooray! However, the diaper has massively leaked. Boo!

The sheet is minimally wet, so I just this a towel over it 😉 I change Austin and return him to bed. 

I go and lie down and read horrible 45 articles for a few minutes and then I hear Austin and the dog both whimpering. 

Austin needs some water. I give him a sip and explain that I need to let Jeter out (again). He astutely senses my level of frustration and let's me leave.

I go downstairs whisper yelling at the dog (damn it Jeter what's wrong with you, etc.) and let him out. I watch from the window as he finds a poop spot by trampling my only Canna lily. If he goes for the phlox I'm going to strangle him. He mildly tramples the outskirts of the phlox. Once he's done his business and descends from my flower bed, he incorrectly chooses to go for a little stroll around the yard. I whisper yell him back to the house. 

It's now 4:16am and I'm so tired, I want to cry.

(Posted a week later)